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Goat's Riverboat

by Twisty Ventriloquist

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1.
Soliloquy 02:47
Oh, I pray for the day when my riverboat horn blows three times! I have heard it in dreams, but I can’t seem to ever do better than two horn blows. Though I play and play, its as if my pipe organ were saying: “That is a good song goat, but its not quite enough. In fact, this riverboat will soar only when the perfect song makes the boat's smokestack horn roar—three times.” And to get where I need to go, I absolutely must fly! But how.... Hmm...I wonder, what does flying sound like?
2.
Billy the Bear Lives in the park with Rabbit Sinclair They play hackey sack there to a hippie drum cirlce in the background because they can't be found by Zookeeper Gómez and his bloodhounds Shall I tell you the magnifecent tale just as I heard it told? Billy the Bear and Rabbit Sinclair arrived in your city with the state fair They planned their escape with Alfred the Ape who kindly agreed to steal the guard's skeleton key, unlocking the cages and setting them free. The very next night they heard a noise. It was Zookeeper Gómez and his boys Come to take Billy and Rabbit away They could hear the bloodhounds say: We can smell your tracks Ooo-oo-oooo We'll find you soo-oo-ooon Howlin' at the mooooooon! Our furry friends pondered their plight, animal adrenaline in the moonlight Then Billy said, "Rabbit the river" "That's right," said Rabbit his ears aquiver. "We'll go to shore, borrow a boat, paddle downstream and visit goat!" He's probably playing his organ now. And his riverboat is the perfect hideout. Rabbit Sinclair, Rabbit Sinclair ninja-hopped from the tree and into the air. He kicked the hackey sack...and Billy stalled it on the back of his ear for like twelve seconds, easily breaking Goat's record of ten. And now he's passed the sack to Rabbit again. Who proceeded to kangaroo stall--a move he learned in Australia last fall. Be the sack was the mantra there and Rabbit and Billy are playing everywhere. Billy the bear, Billy the Bear arrived in the park with the state fair He planned his escape with Alfred the Ape who kindly agreed to steal the guard's skeleton key, unlocking the cages and setting them free.
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Once, upon a time You gazed at your own two hands and suddenly realized you were dreaming and in dreams you can do whatever you want to do. So you start thinking "Now what in the world shall I do" That's you: your standing there on your own two feet. Maybe you decide to fly, to get a bird's eye view like Cumulus in the sky. And everything you see is connected by air and the wind rustles your hair You feel alive!
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Mother Goose 03:31
6.
Braís Guitiérrez Ríos as Zookeeper Gómez M. Wiersma as bloodhounds
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Happy T. Pig 03:05
Happy the Pig My mother’s short, my brother’s fat My father’s ugly, no doubt about that. I am dirty I live in the mud. I wish I was big, my name’s Happy the Pig. Wealthy with health, in money we’re poor. We sleep on beds that are made of manure My grandmother and my grandfather Are wrinkled pink and love each other. My name is Happy the Pig And though I want to be big, I’m small enough to sneak out of the sty I’m happy the Pig, I’m thin as a twig When I’m older I’m going to learn to fly. When I got out I sent a wire To the incredibly wily animal choir Please, please, please help my family escape Send Rabbit Sinclair and Alfred the Ape. Rabbit and Alfred arrived the next night They dug holes and pulled with all of their might. “It’s no use,” they said, “we need more strength.” “Let’s call Flamenco Bull,” they agreed at length. (other oiceover Flamenco Bull had escaped from Spain Where he was in danger of being slain. He had a heart of gold and muscles like steel And when the pigpen was destroyed I began to squeal (narrator) “My name is Happy the Pig And though I want to be big, I’m small enough to sneak out the sty Now my family is free and we are oinking with glee When I’m older I’m going to be a pilot.” And so I learned that being small is fine and is extremely useful from time to time. And if it wasn’t for my little frame, I wouldn’t have such a great nick name
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Cornelius Camel from Tamil Nadu had three humps on his back instead of just two. When the other camels asked "why the extra water supply?" He just smiled a contented grin. Can't you see the Samsara I'm in? This third hump contains a chocolate milk fountain! And in the winter, on these long desert treks everynight I'm having tasty hot chocolate. (Story) So a young camel piped up and said, "Can I have a hump that makes chai tea instead?" Cornelius smiled and gave him a wink: "One of my best friend's has horchata drink!" Díme cómo hacerlo 'quio" cried the Spanish camel. "Necesito una joroba de gazpacho frío!" "E eu tamén," said another in galego. "Quero saber como ter licor café nesta xiba que levo enriba!" "Et moi dans ma bosse je voudrai un petit peu de café au lait français" "O si que bello! Ma adesso non so se voglio delle vino o delle limoncello" (Story)
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Cumulus the Eagle Poet High in the blue sky Cumulus glides by mountains. Covered in trees and dotted with stone fountains. He's a bald eagle but covered in feathers. He's like a bright lighthouse in strormy weather. Now in the night sky Cumulus glides by amusement park rides, but he needs no rollercoaster action, his aerial poems are a main attraction. He's a poet and he knows it, writing words that show It's his gift for describing beauty. Think about what you see, observe it all carefully and write a poem about it all. Now in a cloud puff his gossamer down ruffles slightly Through the white turbulent sounds he floats lightly Underneath a cloud cover he decides to just hover. He surveys the land like a hand touching a lover. Sharp as a sword blade his eyes moved towards shade where a contented camel caravan parade is quietly resting. Sultans and scientists appear to be quietly praying while a wise old camel can be heard calmly saying: Think about what you see, observe the world thoughtfully and put words to it now. Yes, ponder what you see and study it all thoughtfully And write a poem about it all. The men all around him nod and expound with their theories They think about the drink so much that they get teary. They don't understand that Samsara demands first seeing. They just want to savor a yummy drink flavor each evening. Think about what you see, look at it all carefully And write a poem about it all. Yes, ponder what you see. Study it all thoughtfully And put words to it all. And write a poem about it all. Put words to it now.
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The Barbershop Boys with One girl’s Voice. I fall down, like honey dripping from a spoon. I rise high, like a hot air balloon. I sing so sweet and I sing so true But I´m just one voice I think I´ll become two. Then all of a sudden, my voice multiplies A melody that I can harmonize I can be three, almost a barbershop quartet But I’m still just me, I´m not four yet. Where can we find the fourth voice? Who will come along and save this song? Who’s that parachuting down from above, Humming out that melody we love? (superlow oh yeah) I’m happy the Pig, I wear a turquoise wig My soprano voice was the perfect fourth choice When I’m up piloting planes through the violet sunset sky I sing a wistful song about the old pig sty: When I was young Having fun in the slop Sloshing in mud, oh, the good times never stop. I was a piglet then. No bigger than a chicken. I once played with old toys, but now I’m here to rock n’ roll with the Barbershop Boys. With one girl’s voice. That’s Billy the Bear. Covered in hair. (that’s fur, Alfred) I´m Alfred the Ape. Singing you the blues I wear yellow cape. I’m one cool dude. We fall down, like honey spilled from a spoon. We rise high, like a hot air balloon. We sing so sweet and we sing so true. We can be five, if you’ll sing too. We fall down, like a feignting mother goose. We float up, like smoke in a saloon (that’s right!). We sing so sugary sweet and we sing so true to the beat We are the one and only Barbershop Animal Quartet you’ll ever meet!
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Iain Lyons as Campesino Dani Patricia Gamallo Lama as Spelling Bee
18.
Vegetarian Lion Can you spell me what my name is? Vegetarian Lion V-E-G-E-T-A-R-I-A-N L-I-O-N Vegetarian Lion, he's a brilliant blind rapper he's a coin shakin' cup hard wooden cane tapper. One morning without warning I awoke at dawn Hungry and thirsty, suppressing a yawn I trotted out through the daybreak Searching for prey to slay in meadows and lakes I went down to the river where all animals go To shiver and quiver and drink H20 I spied a herd of fat wildebeast Many were limping I thought this should be easy So I moved in close in order to see better but the animals could sense me like I was bad weather They tensed up. They could feel my presence like old folks bones when a thunderstorm threatens. Vegetarian Lion, with his cane and his tin cup Rappin' out rhythms and livin' it up. Is rappin' for you, so clap your hands and start grooving too. Impossible I thought I used to be so sly I got sad and teary eyed--I cried. I can't see well, the world looks blurry, I tripped and fell, I was worried. I went totally blind in only two weeks time and now how exactly does a blind lion survive? I was so blind I couldn't catch my prey, I needed food that wouldn't run away. Vegetarian Lion, with his cane and his tin cup Rappin' out rhythms and livin' it up. Vegetarian Lion, he's a brilliant blind rapper he's coin shaking cup hard wooden cane tapper Vegetarian Lion, with his cane and his tin cup Rappin' out rhythms and livin' it up. Vegetarian Lion, too blind to hunt But i can still howl and growl with a scowl if I want! Tell us what your lunch is boy!! I make a salad with lots of flavor. I start with lettuce--normal behavior. And now is when the fun begins. It depends on my friends and what I find in my garden... For you, red peppers and shredded carrots I'll sprinkle some powdered garlic on top if you can bear it. Thinly sliced onions and sunflower seeds, Top it all off with brewer's yeast. Then the salad dressing, the most important/delicious part Oh so many combinations to this sacred art! I'm guessing you like vinegar and olive oil mixed. Together with salt and pepper makes the flavor even better. Vegetarian Lion, with his cane and his tin cup Rappin' out rhythms and livin' it up. Vegetarian Lion, he's a brilliant blind rapper he's coin shaking cup hard wooden cane tapper Vegetarian Lion, with his cane and his tin cup Rappin' out rhythms and livin' it up. Vegetarian Lion, too blind to hunt But i can still howl and growl with a scowl if I want to!
19.
Goat’s Riverboat A candle burns from inside an old riverboat, Its paddles churning upriver Messenger Chicken glides in holding the Tidings that will make our hearts shiver. She lands on the deck and pecks at the door She finds goat inside waiting at the organ. Goat was a kid when the steamboat captain Would gamble and drink til dawn. Some nights they’d get so desperate they would wager the steamboat they were playing on. (That’s how goat became the owner and installed the organmusic converter.) Goat’s riverboat doesn’t need gasoline It doesn’t need to burn coal Goat’s riverboat’s engine does’t use steam It runs on pure rock n’ roll. (Arpeggio: time, tender nostalgia) Goat unfolds the winged messenger’s note. He reads: “dearest friend, I wrote This song for you, I hope helps you get back home again Upriver so far away Goat plays the first notes and the river boat surges. Messenger chicken clucks out words of encouragement The wind on his face, the steamboat races on upriver Passing by familiar places he used know like the back of his hoof. (arpeggio) Goat’s riverboat doesn’t need gasoline It doesn’t need to burn coal Goat’s riverboat’s engine does’t use steam It runs on pure rock n’ roll. He stands on deck and sees the shore rushing past Other villages pass by fast. The ship is powerful Goat is going home. To his house on waterfall mountain To the quiet lake of ten million blooming yellow flowers Goat plays the third page and the steamboat begins to fly Over a waterfall 299 foot tall. Goat smiles and sighs “This song is perfect, it’s just what I needed.” Now go chicken, use the night breezes To float all the way back home downriver, downwind Back to Dani’s farm again (Fmaj7) And carry this note I wrote for him. And tell him thanks for the new song and that Goat's riverboat's horn blew, loud and true three times three times three times Goat’s riverboat doesn’t need gasoline It doesn’t need to burn coal Goat’s riverboat’s engine does’t use steam It runs on pure rock n’ roll. Goat’s riverboat doesn’t need to burn oil It doesn’t harness solar power Goat’s riverboat's engine combusts musical dreams And then goes 500 miles an hour!
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about

How will Goat write that perfect song, capable of boosting his riverboat out of the swirling currents, into the air, and back to his home on Waterfall Mountain?

Maybe he won't have to. Maybe one of his friends can help out. Maybe that's how the best songs are written...

Goat's Riverboat is a children's concept album: 10 songs and 10 stories all taking place on the same day, at different moments or at the same time but from different perspectives. The overarching themes are friendship, imagination, humor, ecology, and storytelling.

credits

released October 16, 2019

All songs and music by Mark Wiersma
Recorded and mixed by Braís das Hortas at A Casa do Sol
Brais also played the laud on "Cornelius Camel," electric guitar on "Goat's Riverboat" and "Barbershop Boyz," caixón on "Mensaxeiro," choruses on "Billy the Bear," and plenty of other stuff.

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about

Goat's Riverboat Corvallis, Oregon

I wrote this album years ago for my niece and nephew, wanted to get it out into the world, so I made this page and did some illustrations.

Thanks for listening!

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